The act of “forgiveness” usually arises within situations where we think we are not getting what we want, but in fact it is our needs that are not being met. When another transgresses against us, we are left with a sense of depreciation, or non-validation, of who we are. Feeling valued is essential to the human spirit, because of this, there is nothing wrong with how you feel towards the person who hurt you.
Whether the infraction be maltreatment, disrespect, shunned from family or friends, constantly judged, or prayers we feel have gone unanswered. It is important to understand, the feelings we have each day are not wrong, because we cannot control them.
People needing OUR forgiveness rarely know it. They go about their daily business focusing, not on the needs of others, but rather their own. The “act” of not forgiving has become something of an enigma, completely illogical. It is a dishonorable vice, one which has become a part of American culture. We would rather argue, ridicule, and debase, those closest to us, tearing apart families, friends, employees, co-worker’s, politicians… even God, rather than try to relay peace.
If you feel as though your prayers have gone unanswered, allow me to reassure you; God answers every prayer. Silence does not mean you were not heard, nor does it mean he is ignoring you. As humans, we are unable to see the big picture as God sees it and how it will all play out in the end. We have to trust and “own” that God made us. We are His creation–just as our children are our procreation-and God’s silence is at times a “No”, and at other times He is asking us for patience, teaching us endurance, building our character as we are waiting on His timing. Losing my last child almost broke my faith. I was so angry with God I could not see straight. I lashed out at him with the agony only a mother feels as she sees her baby for the first time and it is not alive. Death is by far the most horrific “thought” we have and it is as inevitable as birth. If you believe in your Creator, then know death is never an end, it is a new beginning.
Forgiving God or people is not forgetting the hurt and pain. It is your ticket to FREEDOM. Do not forgive because someone tells you to, do it for yourself. I would surmise that most people are not worthy of forgiveness, however…, you are. Once you begin the journey, your life will change. The burden you have been carrying, some of you for years, will begin to feel lighter as you become freer. Forgiving is not admitting that what you felt to be a violation, was right. It simply means you refuse to invest anymore of your life, emotion, and energy in anger towards another. You probably do not realize the consequences of living life with a non-forgiving mind-set. The following are a few: inappropriate rage, how unengaged you have been with family and friends, the negative thoughts you experience daily, a short fuse, a disproportionate reaction to stimuli such as a sudden negative reaction to a child’s mistake, irritability and much more. A lot of what I listed is “prompted” by triggers (smells, something someone said, a certain look, etc., anything that would remind you of the incident). These are like subliminal reminders for the subconscious of your suffering. If you have been reacting instinctively in a negative way, it is time to accept God, rebuild trust with Him, and forgive those who have hurt you. It is time for you to let go and finally live with peace….
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